By Maryellen Greene, PA-C, MMSc
Today we’re sharing something that has helped our family relationally.
When we are facing a situation that we feel needs to be addressed, we have found that it helps us to remember the acronym “T.I.M.E.”
Here’s what the letters stand for:
T = This is important
I = I love you and I care about you
M = Make a plan together
E = Enjoy growth & change
When addressing an issue, it helps to start by pointing out that “this is important.” It communicates that something matters to you and signals to the other person that you’d like to be heard. This is a call to attention.
Saying “I love you” and/or “I care about you” after bringing attention to an important issue, reminds the other person that you care about them, and it reminds you to communicate in love. There is something about saying and hearing the words “I love you” or “I care about you” that softens the hearts involved and brings perspective to the issue at hand. We are more prone to listen when we are hearing the words coming from a place of love.
Inviting the person to “Make a plan together” shows that you care about the other person’s perspective and value their input. Teamwork makes the dream work, right!? Rather than telling your kids or family member what to do, sit down together and come up with solutions to the problem. Most times when a child initiates an idea, they are more likely to follow through with that idea. Committing to making a plan together communicates mutual respect.
Enjoying growth and change…this part may take a while, but it’s important to point out and celebrate progress in the area that you are working together to change.
We have found that when we take the “TIME” to process issues using this acronym, the conversations are more peace filled and effective, producing better and more positive outcomes.
The next time you have an issue that needs to be addressed, remember that growth takes time. Parenting takes time, discipline takes time and relationships take time to build and maintain. It’s worth taking the time it takes to initiate change. Focus on the gift of time as in “time out” – let’s pause here…and also as in “time in” – let’s come together and connect here.
We hope this is helpful for you and brings growth to your relationships with family & friends.
