By Maryellen Greene, PA-C, MMSc
Have you ever squeezed toothpaste out of a tube and then tried to get all of the toothpaste back into the tube? Or have you ever crumpled up a piece of paper in frustration…and then tried to get all of the wrinkles out? If you’ve ever experienced either of those scenarios, then you know both are impossible…once the toothpaste is out, you can never get every drop of it back in…and once the paper is wrinkled, the paper will always have some remnant of the wrinkles.
The same can be said about the words we speak. Once we let the words out of our mouth, there is no going back and no way to put them back in. Once your words crumple someone’s heart, it’s difficult to completely remove the impact of your words (even with a genuine apology and the person’s grace and forgiveness). Unfortunately, we can’t un-say things that come out of our mouth, right?!?
Pausing to THINK before we speak, helps us consider the impact of the words we say, text or post. Practicing the pause helps us decide if our words are something we should allow out of our mouth.
The acronym “T.H.I.N.K.” is a simple guide we can use to filter our thoughts before we turn them into words.
T – Is it True?
Before you speak, ask yourself if your words align with the truth. Authenticity breeds trust, and by speaking truthfully, you build a foundation of genuine communication. Avoid fake news, lies, exaggerations or misinformation. Speak truth in love.
H – Is it Helpful?
Do your words contribute positively to the conversation? Seek to uplift, support, and offer solutions rather than dwelling on negativity. Do you want to be a fountain or a drain? Don’t say things that don’t benefit, encourage or build others up.
I – Is it Inspiring?
Share words filled with inspiration and hope. Encourage growth, spark creativity, and plant seeds of motivation in the hearts of those who receive your message.
N – Is it Necessary?
Consider whether your words are essential to the conversation. Choose to communicate with purpose and intention, focusing on what truly matters. Does what you plan to say really need to be heard?
K – Is it Kind?
Kindness is a universal language that transcends differences. Fill your words with empathy and compassion, spreading warmth and understanding.
There is some interesting science behind all of this, for my fellow biology and psychology fans. Research by Psycholinguistics shows that we do have the ability to think before we speak and plan our speech. So many parts of our body work together to help us talk. Speaking involves our lungs, throat, voice box, tongue and lips. Speech is one of the most rapid and complex motor behaviors that involves at least 6 Cranial Nerves and over 100 laryngeal, orofacial and respiratory muscles working together with precision. Wow – that’s a lot of working and moving parts! Additionally, there are 3 major speech centers in the brain – Broca’s area in the left hemisphere of the frontal lobe, Wernicke’s area in the temporal lobe, and the cerebellum, which sits above the brain stem. Slow down for a minute and really pause to imagine the complexity of all of these body parts working together as a sort of factory, producing words. Wouldn’t you want your final product to really count and be something you are proud of?
Our speech comes from our thoughts, and our thoughts come from our heart. What we believe in our heart, affects what we think in our mind, which affects how we feel in our mind and body, which influences what we do with our body and what we say with our mouth. Mind your mind and mind your mouth. A topic for another day, is how to bounce back after saying something you regret…unfortunately, I’ve done that and still do that, when I don’t practice the pause and really think things through.
Thomas Browne, a 17th century author from England said, “Think before you act; THINK TWICE before you speak.” James 1:19 says, “Be quick to hear, SLOW to speak…” Easier SAID than done, right?!? We hope the words in this post encourage you to pause and THINK (at least once) before you speak. Take a deep cleansing breath, get some extra oxygen to your brain, and ask God to help you SPEAK LIFE, saying words that are true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind.
The Bible has over 120 different passages about the power of our speech and the importance of controlling the tongue. Here are a few verses for you and your family to pray over your speech:
- Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.”
- Ephesians 4:29 “Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”
- James 1:19 “Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger…”
- James 3:9-10 “With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way.”
- Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
- Proverbs 15:4 “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.”
- Proverbs 16:24 “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
- Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
- Psalm 37:30-31 “The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks justice The Law of his God is in his heart; His steps do not slip.”
- Psalm 49:3 “My mouth will speak wisdom, and the meditation of my heart will be understanding.”
- Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard, Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
- Matthew 15:11 “It is not what enters the mouth that defiles the person, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles the person.”
- Colossians 3:17 “Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”
Unless otherwise noted, all Bible verses are from The Holy Bible, New American Standard Bible® Copyright© 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation.
